I'm bloody tired of nitwits trying to sell me mortgages. I don't have a hundred kilobucks (or is that kibibucks now?) yet, and when I *DO* have that much I'll buy my forty hectares and a mule as a Lump Sum - risking losing my home due to failure to make a payment strikes me as a Bad Thing, not a privilege worth paying extra for.
Nonetheless, they keep on coming. Robots galore. There's a lot of money in the Dumbfuck Market, and for the banks the amount of Free Property they wind up getting out of these deals must be worth it. (The salefolk themselves, of course, seem to be on commission. Psychomanipulator research must have shown that salesdroids on commission work their asses off for peanuts, while salesdroids on an hourly rate get disillusioned a lot faster with the whole "trick the schmuck out of his house" part of the deal.)
"Team Loan" (or perhaps "Teen Loan"?) is particularly annoying, due to one cute little thing: They've discovered the art of the Murk. When their marketing bot left its message, it claimed to be a charity offering "gifts" of up to twenty thousand dollars off the closing price of a mortgage. And hence exempt from the Do Not Call list. Their bot claimed to be named Susan, and instructed me to call 1-888-
The salesguy was nice enough to the guy blathering about "Eastern Oregon or maybe rural Idaho". Even managed not to bat an eyeball when I managed to work in the observation that this credit card thing made me wonder if maybe my friends who blather about "revelations and the Beast" weren't as silly as they sounded. (Yeah, you market at me, I'll extract amusement from your staff. At a per-minute rate. So?). Apparently they only do loancrap in California. And to get this "gift" I do indeed need to close the deal through them. They do business with "All the major banks", but I couldn't get a list of them. Salesguy'd never heard of "B of A". Said something about "Union Bank" when I explained that "B of A" is "Bank of America". I wonder what they mean by "all"? I indicated that northeastern California might also be of interest to me. Salesguy needed specific counties before he could tell me whom to call. So Modoc, Del Norte, and Siskiyou were chosen, and thusly I extracted a phone number to call (1-800-939-1119) and a name to ask for. Matt Cua. Spelled C U A.
The answering system there, on a Saturday afternoon, isn't staffed. But the voicemail jail has a nifty little feature wherein one can extract the employee directory. Which I did (most of. I'll grab the rest in a day or three, probably.)
And this is the directory:
For [ABC]: one employee. Matt Cua, to be exact.
For [DEF]: Again, only one.
For [GHI]: John Guterrez.
For [JKL]: Nobody?
For [MNO]: 1: someone whose name sounds like "Manol", in a tonal language.
2: Michelle McCurtin.
3: Nuy (sp?), extension 327.
4: Val. Who is Valeni (or maybe Valenti) Marin.
For [PQRS]: Too many for the menuing system.
Rick Samiñego, extension 225
And someone whose name is just a beep. I'm guessing they're either Administrati or the least technically competent of all the personnel there. Not mutually exclusive positions.
Their voicemail jail is also set up to make one listen to a minute or so of almost-inaudible schpiel about the greatness of teamloan.