0x7D5 August 0x1A:

Tonight, we interview noted foreign paleontologists Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and Rush Limbaugh on a topic of grave importance to the security of our nation.

Jerry: Thank you, sir, and you have a really pretty mouth... ah, where was I? The young man in a miniskirt pretending to take notes isn't really taking them, is he?

Host: No, of course not. As you can see, his notepad is covered entirely in the loops and squiggles of the ancient language of the native Greggs, which our stenographer is studying in the hopes of convincing the local Gregg chieftan to permit him to marry one of his daughters.

Pat: Well. I am not sure if this is a good idea, this interbreeding with the Greggs. Between their unnaturally strong libidos and their regrettable tendencies to engage in unspeakable rituals in the wondrously shining light of the full moon... ah, but I digress. Forgive my impudence in presuming to dictate the lifestyles of your employees.

Host: Oh, no, it's nothing like THAT. The Greggs, being our archivist caste, breed only within their own unwashed tribe. The chieftan has said that, if our stenographer will read a short piece at their semi-annual burlesque convention, he will find the section of the ancient scrolls of lore that permits males of the stenographer caste to marry their own daughters.

Pat: Isn't that in Leveticus somewhere?

Jerry: No, I'm positive that that was in the Gospel of Mark Antony.

Rush: Would you two just SHUT THE FUCK UP? You spent the entire plane ride over here talking about nothing but sodomy, oral sex, bestiality, incest, and fistfucking. You're worse than Bill Clitton! At least it took HIM ten years to get to the point where I had to take painkillers to get over it!

Host: Language, Mr. Limbaugh! We do NOT talk about painkillers on the air!

Rush: Goddamn it.

Pat: You really should watch your mouth, Rush.

Rush: You're one to talk, motherfucker.

Pat: Listen, you...

Jerry: Hey, why don't we find out what we're here for?

Host: Oh, yes. That. We were doing a panel on terrorism and wanted to know what your opinion on fork bombs was?

Rush: Fork bombers are, pure and simply, evil. I know those so-called liberals (or, as we know them, COMMUNISTS) don't like it when we talk about evil, but they have to face facts sooner or later.

Jerry: I agree with Rush. Except that I don't think liberals are really Communists; they're really Satanists pretending to be Communists, just like it said in the Gospel of Paul, 2:13,

Pat: Could you please stop misquoting the Bible? I understand that, where you grew up, the King James version was read, but surely you must recognize that the Strong Bible is better and stronger than the King James version.

Jerry: No, I will not stop quoting the One True Bible, you fucking unbeliever.

Host: Would you care to elaborate on how the liberals plan to set off fork bombs?

(All talking at once)

The host turns to the camera with a big smile on his face.. "And there you have it. We cannot agree on much, but we can all agree on the importance of respect for the Dear Leader and the fact that Liberals are all Satanists and/or Communists."


Monde, Priestess of Choronzon on 0x7D5 September 0x15:
Liberals are all Communists and Satanists...Except when they're Choronzonites. Who tend to be busy laughing at Commies and Devil-whoreshippers when they aren't busy making a joyous noise unto their Lord.

Who, by the way, so saith the Eidolons, is currently divided into the minds of 25 Dominionists causing their brains to loop on the texture of custard pies and the taste of pineapple...or was it the texture of pineapple and the taste of custard pies? In any case, it will slow them down and keep their heads up their asses nice and safely where they won't be so goddam threatening.

The really goofy thing about dominionists is nowhere in the fucking Bible, ANY of its versions! does it say anything about JeeZeus reneging on the Second Cumming if the governments aren't running under strict Biblical law.

Deekoo on 0x7D5 September 0x1C:
... it _does_, however, if I recall correctly, say that the world will be under the rule of an evil ruler who is believed by the majority to be godly.


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