The Prevarication Prognostication Perpetuation Party on 0x7D4 December 0x9:
We at the Prevarication Prognostication Perpetration Perpetuation Party (aka P-5) are proud to announce our top Prognosticator, the perplexingly priggish but plasmatically prismic pirate, Mr. Calm McReeleiffe, sits upon a large stack of paper printouts containing the polymathematically-proven presidential prestidigitation prediction poll pickings.
Pocketing every pernicious palabra popping past the punditry poltroon posse, Pirate Calm McReeleiffe probably or at least possibly, and some say positively, pinged a point on the previous President's pants, pretty practically poking the pissant's posterior in the process. Upon which he pried open his piehole and proceeded to pester people with pithy platitudes and pathos...predictably, primroses, pansies and petunias in parkways peaked and passed into post-petalled posthumousness. Prissy Miss Purr Gattory, the President's Persian pussycat, pined for her past place on the perimeter patio. The polls are in, the parsimonious persnickety pretender is popular, but not POPULIST, pretty soon, per prediction, pratfalls, perversion and finally passing from prominence proceed.